User:Skm/Something unexcellent happened

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Revision as of 16:57, 4 September 2015 by Skm (talk | contribs) (added some more scripts that may help)
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This is my current personal opinion on dealing with unexcellent behavior.

Sometimes unexcellent behavior happens, and you need to ask someone to leave the space or tell them to stop the misbehavior.

Help! How do I ask someone to leave the space?

You can ask them to leave. If it helps, you can direct them to the User:Skm/asked to leave wiki page.

If you feel in danger from someone please do not feel obligated to engage. You can call 911 to get help.

Help! How do I ask someone to stop their behavior?

You can ask them to stop.

Some suggested scripts for talking to people

  • "You need to leave now."
  • "This is not ok here."
  • "Please stop this behavior."
  • "Don't do that, it's not ok here." <a statement of disagreement or denial> "No, in this context it is not productive, please do not do that. Let's move on." "We can ask for help with this later, please let's move on."
  • "Don't do that. When you did that it was uncomfortable. Sometimes people don't realize it is uncomfortable, no worries, let's move on." "We can ask for help with this later, please let's move on."

If you feel uncomfortable continuing a conversation about it, you can direct them to the User:Skm/asked to leave wiki page.

Help! I asked someone to leave the space!

Please let us know by contacting The Board and cc Sheila or Sheila's private-help mailing list that will only be shared with board members. Do not email [email protected] since it is not private. If you prefer, you can ask a friend to contact us on your behalf. You are not obligated. It is good for us to know what is going on, but if you aren't able to talk to us about it then don't. You should not have to defend yourself and it sucks that you are in this position.

If you do wish to contact us, you can also file an anonymous form without using email [1]. The form submits information to Sheila.

Example emails:

  • Help, I needed to ask someone to leave. Please contact me about it.
  • Help, My friend had to ask someone to leave. Please contact me about it.
  • Help, Something bad happened. Please contact me about it.
  • Help, Something bad happened to a friend and they don't feel comfortable talking to other people about it. Please contact me about it.

You can include more details if you like, but you may also wait until you are able to speak with board members in person.

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